January 16, 2023, is supposedly the most depressing day of the year. I guess I must have missed the memo as I was feeling pretty peachy here, typing these words while admiring the golden hour light illuminating the top of the hedge in my backyard, just after getting my daily dose of movement and fresh air during my afternoon walk outside. Even though that day officially marks the first day of my unemployment (no more severance pay), I don’t consider myself depressed.

And on the surface, it seems as though I have more reasons to feel blue. For example, doing the Dry January challenge. In case you didn’t know, Dry January is a month-long alcohol sobriety challenge that involves abstaining from drinking for the first month of the year. So not only am I without a job, but with no access to a glass of red for a month—and all of that during the short winter days! A far cry from the image you might have of me being curled up under the blanket in the deepest pits of depression.

Here I am, studying German New Medicine and other non conventional healing modalities, reading inspiring and thought provoking essays, writing in my journal, applying for jobs and enjoying brief periods of sunshine during my walks (while enjoying the freedom from the cold thanks to my brand new Pajar parka). But mostly I’m enjoying the clarity of thoughts brought by my conscious sobriety. Because, for me, doing Dry January is less about giving my body the chance to recover from the holiday indulgence and more about replacing a dependence in the making with a positive habit.

Addiction 101

While I wouldn’t consider myself substance dependent, I do enjoy a glass of good wine in the evening. There’s something to be said about savouring the burgundy liquid of truth and feeling the worries of the day melt away with every sip. But with a family history of addiction that shortened the lives of a few close family members, I know I need to keep an eye on addictive behaviour, in whichever form it may appear. Because, despite the common understanding, addiction at its core is about depending on something external to provide a feeling of reward, rather than the addictive nature of a substance/issue itself.

Just take a look at the Meriam-Webster definition, which says that addiction is “a compulsive, chronic, physiological or psychological need for a habit-forming substance, behavior, or activity having harmful physical, psychological, or social effects and typically causing well-defined symptoms (such as anxiety, irritability, tremors, or nausea) upon withdrawal or abstinence.” Now it makes sense why some get addicted to gambling, others to drugs and/or alcohol and someone else to carnal pleasures. Whatever gives you the feeling of satisfaction following the release of dopamine in your brain, if done to excess can lead to addiction. (Dopamine is a brain neurotransmitter involved in the sensation of pleasure and motivation.)

For me, the fact that I’ve started linking the ritual of having a glass of wine with relaxing should be the first red flag—and something to be addressed. The second red flag was the realization of wasting time and potential creativity. If you know me, you can attest that I don’t like waste, whether it’s food (self-proclaimed queen of cooking…or improvising depending on the content of the fridge), energy (huge believer in sending an email over attending yet another Zoom meeting) or time (hate wasting it and will always make sure that I’m using it wisely). When I think of the month of December, all the conversations I had with friends and family over the holidays are blurred into one in my mind. And the gathering that I recall most vividly was the one when, being the designated driver, I didn’t drink.

I came to the conclusion that by indulging just a little too much, I’ve wasted a lot of time; the only commodity we won’t get back (something all addiction-ridden families have in common–their addicted family members were never fully present, leaving all the memories to be had).

Cold Turkey or Overriding?

On a fundamental level, our habits are neither bad nor good—at least for the brain, which looks at them as a set of formed neural pathways. Each time we perform a repeated set of activities, we strengthen the neurological connection, similar to walking on a formed path. The connection won’t automatically disappear the moment we stop, just like a path won’t disappear overnight, it’ll be there ready to used when needed until Mother Nature and Father Time do their magic. Case in point, the ability to ride a bicycle; you might feel rusty after a few years of not riding, but you won’t have to re-learn the skill, your muscles remember doing it and will make sure you won’t lose your balance and fall off your bike.

Breaking a habit is not easy, but it is possible. There are countless people who successfully quit smoking or gave up other unhealthy habits. Some did that by going cold turkey, meaning suddenly stopped doing the undesired thing some released their bad habits with the help of support groups, others replaced the not-so good habit with the healthier one. In the end, whatever works for you is the correct approach, although the science of neuroplasticity supports breaking a bad habit with a positive one while engaging the strength of dopamine, as dopamine is crucial in creating bad habits.

Refraining from continuing with a habit is just part of the equation, as this only halts the process of strengthening the existing neural connections without forming new ones. We might not use those connections but they’re still there, which would explain why so many of us experience falling back to our old ways when presented with the opportunity to veer off the new path—otherwise known as “relapsing”. But if we start consciously working on forming a new habit while giving up an old one, our brain will be busy creating brand new neurological connections and will be less likely to revisit the old ones. And if we ensure that the new activity causes the release of dopamine, we’re more likely to stick to the new routine thanks to the good feeling we get from doing so.

Depending on the person, many things can lead to the release of dopamine hence the plethora of things that can potentially lead to an addictive behaviour. But just like a knife isn’t inherently bad or good as only its use can turn it into a tool or a weapon, the same goes for dopamine. If we use it to motivate us and strengthen the positive effect it has on our brain chemistry, we’re harnessing its potential for good.

So now the million dollar question: How does one start? By engaging the power of one’s character strengths and signature strengths in particular.

Use Your Strengths to Change Your Habits

According to Positive Psychology, character strengths are the building blocks of one’s character. Psychologists Chris Peterson and Martin Seligman, after an extensive research project, identified 24 universally recognized character strengths, grouped under one of the six overarching virtues (Wisdom and Knowledge; Courage; Humanity; Justice; Temperance and Transcendence).

Character strengths are seen as more specific psychological processes or mechanisms that define the virtues–they’re the pathways that lead us to achieving the ultimate goal of the virtue.

While every one of us possesses all 24 character strengths, their representation will vary from one person to another. Think of a colour saturation: some of us like vibrant red, others prefer a muted version of it. The same can be used for character strengths: while we have all 24, not all of them are saturated at 100%. Therefore, one’s character a unique combination of varying shades of all strengths.

Among the 24 character strengths there’s a handful—usually between four and six–that are expressed in a person to their fullest. We call them signature strengths and, in a colloquial way, refer to them as “our character”. These are the traits that make us “us” and determine how we approach life. A person with a signature strength of prudence will behave differently than a person with a signature strength of zest or bravery. In crisis situations, we tend to turn to those signature strengths and they’re the best arsenal you have to override bad habits.

Why? Think of the old adage “lift with your legs, not your back” when you want to pick up a heavy object. It encourages you to use the power of the strongest muscles in the human body as they’re best suited for the challenge. Similarly, by engaging the strongest traits of your character in overcoming a bad habit and replacing it with a good one, you’re setting yourself up for success. And don’t just take my word for it, research shows that people who are in tune with their character strengths not only tend to lead healthier and happier lives, are more confident, have higher levels of self-esteem but are also more likely to achieve their goals.

If you don’t know your signature strengths, go visit the VIA Institute on Character website and complete their character strengths test. The free version doesn’t identify signature strengths, but usually the ones in the first three to five spots can identify them.

How to Consciously Feed the Dopamine Monster

I hope that by now you’ve identified your top three signature strengths. What’s next? Familiarize yourself with the key traits of each strength to understand how to use their power. Let’s say your top three signature strengths are: Zest, Teamwork and Love. I’ll show you the most effective ways of engaging your signature strengths in overriding a bad habit with a positive one below.

Having Zest as one of your top strengths means that you like to approach all things in life with energy and excitement. People who are high in zest are excited to get up in the morning and they live their lives like an adventure. Therefore, one of the best ways to tackling a bad habit would be turning the process into a quest or a game. Each time you follow through on the positive habit, you award yourself a point or with something that brings you joy. For example do a crazy dance or play a level of a challenging game.

When Teamwork is one of your signature strengths, it means that you enjoy the support of a group and work well with others. Working towards a common goal comes to you naturally, therefore you will benefit from the support of a group doing a “challenge” or something similar. Don’t know anyone in your neighbourhood who can join you? Turn to the online community. I guarantee you’ll find support there.

And finally, if Love is one of your signature strengths, it means that you value and foster close relationships with others—especially those with whom sharing and caring is reciprocated. You are the person who usually performs the little acts of kindness on a daily basis, such as making someone a cup of coffee or reaching out to a person who seems down. If you’re working on overcoming a bad habit, you can benefit from receiving words of encouragement from those who you love. Celebrating your milestones with the loved ones will strengthen your commitment, as will receiving regular acknowledgements of your progress from your friends and family.

Does It Work?

Scientific research and theoretical models aside, does it really work? Well, from a modest sample of one, I declare that it does. See, my signature strengths are creativity, curiosity, love of learning, humour and appreciation of love and beauty. And if you read the first few paragraphs of this blog again, you’ll see that I’m not just talking the talk but actually practicing what I preach.

I said that I’m engaged in studying German New Medicine and other healing modalities–this is an example of activities favoured by my signature strength of love of learning. I also mentioned that I’m writing in my journal and applying for jobs–both could be examples of applied creativity, after all they say you need to modify each cover letter to suit the job description, right? And finally, enjoying the golden hour light as well as time spent in nature is how I express my appreciation of love and beauty.

And the best part? When I started writing this blog I had no idea where it would take me, but I decided to be open about my journey even without a goal in mind. I guess by doing so I was also expressing my other signature strength: curiosity.

Happy explorations!