Living through a defining moment in history comes with a bittersweet aftertaste. Sometimes you’re happy being part of a bigger movement – looking at you the collapse of the Iron Curtain, other times you wish you could push a fast-forward button until the new order is in place – our current COVID-19 crisis. While deep down I have no doubts that as a collective we’ll emerge from this pandemic stronger and more resilient, accepting the fact that the price being paid is counted in human lives is a bitter pill to swallow.
Living with COVID-19
As I’m typing these words, the initial shock of the COVID-19 pandemic outbreak has subsided. Our world, a global village buzzing with activities and travels, has shrunk to the size of our respective homes and apartments. We live under lockdown, in self-isolation and practice physical distancing.
These words, which only a few weeks ago would have sounded like something out of a dystopian novel, have joined the mainstream vernacular and are no longer theoretical concepts. Instead, they paint a pretty accurate, albeit fairly gloomy picture of our reality.
What do we do? First, we need to put our big girl (and boy!) pants on and accept that “it is what it is.” Pining for the old world is not going to bring it back, and the virus is not going to magically disappear overnight. We’ll be lucky if it did so by the end of the summer, so we had better learn how to live in its shade. But how?
Fight (and Flight) No More
Let’s start by deactivating the fight-or-flight response. It mobilized us following the news of the impending lockdowns and prompted us to stock up on toilet paper, canned beans and baking supplies. It served its purpose. But now, after our cupboards are filled to the brim and we remember that we actually hate beans, it’s time to turn it off.
Prolonged periods spent in fight-or-flight mode have dire health consequences. Do you really want to risk putting additional strain on your immune system or the already overburdened healthcare system? I didn’t think so. Check out these tips on how to turn off the fight-or-flight response by practicing conscious breathing.
Now What?
Once the body and mind are a bit calmer, let’s take ownership of the situation. There’s strength that comes with the acceptance of what is. And boy oh boy, we will need all the strength we can get. Why? Because we’re about to embark on a journey. A hero’s journey to be precise.
If you’re familiar with Joseph Campbell’s concept of the hero’s journey, you know that the in-between zone is the hardest and most challenging part for any hero out there. At the same time, it is also the most interesting part, the meat and potatoes of any good adventure book or movie. Filled with trials and tribulations, it is the part which allows the hero to grow by testing and shaping their character.
By being alive during the COVID-19 crisis, we were given a chance to grow as individuals and as a collective. No one knows how it’s going to end but I have a feeling it’s going to be one hell of a ride!
Will You Be My Helper?
But first, we need to find ourselves a helper and/or mentor. To paraphrase the words of Mr. Rogers, there are always helpers around, ready to offer you a hand. All we need to do, is to know where to look for them.
“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’ To this day, especially in times of ‘disaster,’ I remember my mother’s words and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers—so many caring people in this world.”
Fred Rogers
The good news? You get to pick your own squad, and it’s going to be much better than picking team members in gym class. This time, you are not limited to your classmates, you can pick whomever and whatever you want thanks to the vastness of the Internet. There’s only one rule.
Trust your gut.
When you’re wondering whether someone or something is a helper, my advice is to always believe in one’s feelings. Your inner guidance system never lies. If you feel empowered and inspired after hanging out with someone or listening to something, you have found yourself a helper (or a mentor). But if you feel drained, lacking energy or simply negative – I would suggest it’s time to move on and consider something different.
There are so many uplifting resources available out there, depending on your belief system. Some people put greater faith in science, others in spirituality. There are those who look for guidance in organized religions, and those who trust their own instincts. It’s literally different strokes for different folks.
Live and Let Live
For as long as you’re staying true to yourself (while of course following the recommendations of the public health authority!) you’ll be fine. I repeat – staying true to who you are and acting in accordance with your belief system is key – I wrote about that in this blog post. It is always a good rule to live by, but living with integrity is especially important during the COVID-19 crisis.
Living with integrity means being true to yourself and – by extension – granting others the same right to be who they are.
When you accept others for who they are, you have to also respect their belief systems, no matter how different from your own. This is not the time to insist that your friend or family member need to change their point of view so that you can have a harmonious relationship with them. You too need to put in some work.
I know it’s not an easy thing to do at the best of times, let alone when you’re literally confined to a small space 24/7 with a roommate who drives you nuts. What do you do then? Consider that perhaps this is the dragon you need to slay on your heroic journey. After all, not all dragons wear capes, I mean have scales.
Befriend Change
Let’s lead this change by realizing that in order to peacefully coexist, we need to learn how to respect one another. I’m sure that things can only improve from there.
If you change the way we look at things, the things we look at change.
Wayne Dyer
If we accept that we all have something unique to offer, a skill, a gift, an unusual outlook on life, it will be easier to see past the annoying quirks of our roommate. And since we don’t know which skill we might need on the next stretch of the journey, it’s prudent not to discard anything, or anyone, before we move to Act Three.
Right now our biggest challenge might be surviving the annoying roommate or agreeing on a movie to watch, but we’re only a few weeks into this. We haven’t seen the real challenge yet. There are so many unknowns that it is beyond our comprehension to predict what the new world is going to look like when the pandemic is over.
What I do know though, is that if we tackle the challenges that come our way with integrity by using our inner strength and being guided by our belief system we will do just fine.
